Get a Rob

If you meet me in person, you may think I am a bit much. I have a big personality, and I would be open to the argument that it borders on slightly obnoxious. It’s not intentional. I get hyper interested in people and can tend to overlook boundaries. I’m working on it. The thing is, growing up there were a lot of people that would just ignore me in lieu of being up front with me. Until I got a Rob.

When I was 25 years old, I moved to Columbia, Missouri. The home of the University of Missouri and mostly that. I moved there to work for the Food Bank as a project coordinator. It’s a polite way of saying; I moved a lot of barrels of canned food. When I moved to COMO I was at the beginning of my comedy career and there was a bit of a fledgling scene. After wandering Facebook for more information, I learned about a Tuesday night open mic at a bar called Eastside Tavern. Now that haunt holds a lot of stories and I may get to them but know that I spent a lot of time at this bar. Eastside is exactly what happens when someone who thinks horror and motorcycle chic are cool gets a business loan. The walls were covered with filth and collectibles. The stage was just inside the door and was backed by a large window that was rarely covered. The bar stretched the length of half the room with a small seating gallery right in front of the stage. There was a bit of a wild-west feeling to that room. No rules, no health code and rarely anyone is in charge.

That is the room I really cut my teeth in. You had to fight to get the audience, and you couldn’t balk when I fight broke out behind you on the sidewalk in the window. I do want to take a moment to explain I have a love for that time, while I have no interest in going back. That was the first room I was a long-term host in. I got to be a part of the As Yet Unnamed Comedy Show history and I don’t look down on that. I made incredible friends, saw incredible talent and even had a few incredible nights. My biggest takeaway was Rob.

He wouldn’t want me to brag about him, but I will because that is what I do. Rob is tall, dark and handsome and knows how to swing nunchuks. You wouldn’t guess that behind that cool demeanor is a dork who loves movies and music from the nineties. He’s a Dad that I have seen go above and beyond to provide and now as we get older, I realize how much he helped me without even trying.

To understand Rob, you must have context. I am not here to tell his story but to give you a little look at who he is. When we met, he was a barback at a local piano bar and was also starting out in comedy. He is a natural storyteller, and he has a weirdness to his comedy that is endearing to the audience. His material is a blend of true stories and bizarre thoughts. He has spent most of our friendship in the bar business and that leaves him living on the odd side of the clock. So, he has a lot of time to think. I like to think it is a history of dealing with drunks that has led to this calm, nothing bothers me demeanor. I just don’t think you can coach cool.

When we met, I had done my first set at Eastside and did well. Good enough that Rob stopped me to said “good shit”. After a few more weeks I got the invite, all new comics want. I got invited to stand at the back table with the veteran comics. Much like the cellar, there was a table at the back of Eastside you had to earn the right to hang around. In the middle was Rob, who invited me over to hang. Admittedly, I was super clunky and awkward, but Rob was nonchalant the whole time. The following week I got more comfortable and eventually I felt like I was a part of it.

During that time, Rob and I lived close to one another so we would often hang out or I would take him with me on an errand. Every time I would come through the door with another emotional breakdown after I had been slighted by a gas attendant or work. He would listen and then simply ask a question that deflated my whole argument. Each time he did, a small piece of me changed. After 7 years in Columbia, I moved away.

A fun story here. Rob has this thing he does with everyone. He slaps your hand two times. Like an athlete dapping up a teammate. It’s two quick pops and that is his equivalent of a hug with his guy friends. However, I was leaving, and I demanded a hug. This is my best friend, and I am moving to a foreign country.  Reluctantly, he gave me one. This is when I learned that if you are a guy going in to give your guy pal a full frontal, have a plan for your face. I didn’t know where to go and ended just nuzzling his chest for a second.

I moved back briefly, but life just moves, and Rob and I had busy things going on. We always made time for each other but those days of wasting a Saturday on the couch were gone. Rob continues to be one of my best friends and to this day we are in constant contact. Even though we don’t have that same every day hang the effects of that time still hit today. I find myself emulating Rob in situations. Recently, I made a friend who has a lot of the same energy I had when Rob met me. It makes me laugh when I hear myself reacting to them the way Rob reacted to me. I just hope I won’t be responsible for showing him what cool is, because Rob gave me the movie Friday and how to properly wear a headband as part of your outfit. This guy may end up with a dissertation on why Saved By the Bell is actually a great allegory for the distant nature of writers of kid’s shows to the true nature of what kids find entertaining.